WHY?

First things first, I named this blog ‘WHY’ because I have a hell lot of questions to ask. Starting from objectification of the female body to shaming it. Really, people have nothing in between or what? Haters will say that ‘item songs’ are an integral part of Bollywood movies, or that attaining a ‘so called’ body (read: with fuller assets but a flat belly) is nothing but healthy. Okay, okay. Think of me as a feminazi. Well, I don’t give a damn to what your perception of me is. Because I know what I am, my brain knows not to quit, but I think that a woman is just trying to be the best version of what she is. 
Coming to the point, one of my friends received a really lewd message from an acquaintance, needless to say that the sender was a male. And then he tried covering it by saying ‘Sent it to you by mistake. The message was meant for someone else.’ As if another girl would’ve digested it? 

Why is it that women have to conform to social standards and it doesn’t matter if a man doesn’t? Why do women have to be fully covered despite the weather? Why do women have to act coy and shy all the time? Why can’t some people allow women to work post marriage/child birth? Why do women have to remedy their skin to ‘gori’ from ‘kali’? Isn’t Kali the name of a much worshipped Hindu Goddess? Why do women have to constantly seek empowerment? Why can’t Bollywood actresses own that they are feminists? Why do women have to stand up and speak for other women? Why don’t men become feminists? Why don’t people understand that we want equality and not superiority? Why are rape victims’ images deteriorated instead of rapists’? Why do women have to worry about being attacked once they’ve stood up and taken appropriate measures against the accused?

There’s no end to my questions. Only if men take a step forward and support women, we can actually achieve equality- something that women are dreaming of. It is the 21st century and if we still can’t keep women over patriarchy, it is nothing but depressing.

P.S. – Actions were taken against that guy. Not strict ones though, but still THEY WERE TAKEN. That matters.

Expectations: to have or not to have.

What’s wrong in keeping expectations? You give and you give and you give your everything to someone and they just don’t seem to reciprocate things. Of all the things, time is the worst and the best investment. You stick to someone, be there in their toughest times and when your days of turmoil arrive, poof! They magically vanish. And then you realise you did nothing but wasted your time. And to avoid that, people advise not keeping expectations, as if it was the fault of the giver. Coming to think of it, is that true? I mean, really, how can someone just take a blame on their heads, even if they were not mistaken?But I truly believe that it has always been a mistake on the part of that one person, who really believes that the other one is going to stick with them. Now this person is the giver as well as the receiver. I don’t feel the need to explain the side of the one who expects. On the other hand, the one who always has people by their side tends to take them for granted.I think that expecting is not that bad. I mean, at least you will know who was at fault. And if the other one reciprocates, then it’s time to party! Because this breed is rare af.
P.S. – I am dedicating this piece to some of the prettiest souls I’ve ever met, and who have been there with me in the toughest of my times. 

Pandemonium

 ​Is it human tendency to go back, desire for more or is it just me? I keep returning to where I was not meant to be…and to those not meant for me. Is it the unsettling feeling that I am alone, aloof even when I am with my best friends or is my introversion on a ris


e? I want to write but I don’t know what I am writing. Just a lost, fading memory of things that could have been.It seems like there is just this weird calmness, silence all around. Mind you, I am more of a chaos person. Overthinking is a thing of my past now. What is it that is even bothering my self?Why do not I seem to give more shits about things?It is true that perhaps this is good. Not overthinking, not caring much. Was I meant to be this way? Or was I meant to find calmness in calmness, which I get in chaos, amidst all the mayhem?Why are things so confusing?Am I lost?What do I want? 

Yeah, I love mornings. A new beginning, if one must say. But what about the nights? When I live without having to survive ?Or is it my unplanned, uncherished yet yearned for singlehood taking a toll on me? I can’t be defined because of a man, that I am sure of.

Fairly unfair.

I have been called wheatish, dusky, brown, dark toned – and what not in my entire life. Most non-white people (even I don’t know why I am giving such a reference) tend to pretend that they do not care what the society says about their skin color. But you know what, growing in a commonwealth country is not easy. Because in the colonial times, people with lighter skin tone were preferred. I still remember the day when I was actually rejected – thanks to my complexion. This was back in school; middle school, to be accurate. The very dark coloured house captain had been wanting some “cute” cheerleaders for the upcoming sports event; and by cute I do not mean cute. I mean fair. The obsession with a lighter skin tone is just unexplainable! I remember my father going to a relative’s funeral a few years back. This woman, whose husband had just died, and his funeral rites were about to happen, told my father, “Son, look at yourself. You look so tanned.” My father was shocked – more shocked than he was when he came to know about the death. That’s not it, you know. My grandmother has been telling me that I have a darker skin tone. To tell you the truth, I don’t feel that my shade is what society thinks is “acceptable” for marriage. This matters less nowadays. But it hasn’t stopped mattering. The other day I went shopping with my visibly fair friend. When we were returning, I started wearing hand gloves so as to prevent tanning. My friend said something and I responded, “crazy girl, at least you have an option for tanning”. I still don’t know why in this whole damned world did I say that. This will make you think that my skin is very dark in color. But it isn’t. See, I had this urge to explain it to you. This pretty much sums up my point. What if some of us are more “colored” than the rest? It definitely matters less than our IQ levels.

Everyone is beautiful, you know. I am just sincerely hoping for the day when all this discrimination would just end. It isn’t the skin that has to be differentiated on the basis of its colors; it should be the personality. Again, why only the oppressed ones say something that favors them? Why someone from the “lighter-brighter” community does not come up and do something? I leave that to you, dear reader.

P.S. – I intentionally skipped the whole fairness cream debacle.

Love love.

‘ I am single by my choice.’ ‘Love is not my cup of tea.’ ‘ I am in love with myself.’ ‘ I like animals more than most humans.’ Sounds familiar, eh? Well after a long break that I’ve had since my last post, here I come! Most kids/teens of today’s times have probably lost faith in love – something that they are made of. They think staying out of love is cooler. No, it isn’t. It is better falling in love (and by love I also mean heart breaks and jealousy and break-ups.) because if it goes right and good, you are definitely a beneficiary.

Of course, loving yourself first is good, and necessary ; to a certain extent. But drowning yourself in things of ‘self pamper’ is not good, I must say. Because, sooner or later you are going to need someone to fulfill your needs and your childish demands; thus making you happy.  You will feel the need of such a human sooner or later. Now obviously, your pet cannot do what a homo sapien will do for you. From laundering with you to getting a loan – this one person is going to be there, do that for you. This is not new that parents also do the same for you. But for how long? They will die before you do (in most cases) . What I am trying to say is gear up to fall in love. Be ready to kiss all the wrong frogs before you meet your prince charming/dream girl. Because that is how you will learn to give importance to the right one. A few heart breaks before getting a life partner is healthy! So sit back, relax and be ready to fall in love anytime now. Or at least fall in love with the idea of being in love, alike me. And love will eventually find its way in your life. 🙂

We are equal. And that is that.

Even after being a girl in a patriarchal society, I have never faced gender specific discrimination- not even in my family. What comes as a feather in my parents’ hat is that I am the only child they brought in this world. Although at times I have felt that I would have been better off as a guy (because of me being a lazy creature and also the reason that women are expected to be presentable 24*7), but then- you know, it is good being a woman. You are endlessly pampered, you are not being judged as much as men are these days. The fantasy society in “man’s world” has made me raise my standards. People say that we have got rid of all the discrimination stuff. But no, we haven’t. We still haven’t. It will come only when women can be seen getting as much salary as men get for the same amount of labor done, or when sex ratio does not differ as much as it does today. Even today at many places where men get jobs because of their knowledge, women get it by…erm, you know what I mean. In places where both are equally capable. Even today, only elementary education is being received by boys and girls both (talking about the LGBT community is a totally different topic. Because, if people can’t stand gender equality, they can’t stand people being in love with the same sex as theirs.). You might say that women have been exploiting men for a long time now. But (those with weak hearts should not read the following lines) what is the big deal if we have our OWN SHARE OF EXPLOITING MEN? No, no. Do not think of that thing you are thinking about me right now. I am not a feminazi. I am a feminist. A true-blue feminist. I want that sense of equality. At times, us dominating men (If women are better mechanics, then men can take care of stuff other than that.). At times, them dominating us (If men are better off being chefs, women can handle the other parts.). Because this is the only manner in which society should function. All the sides of the society taking leads as and when needed. Because there is no other way. Because only then we can do something for the oppressed. Because it would make this world a happier place to live in.

P.S.- I actually agreed to the “my choice” video.

Do what you love.

“Spent twenty wonderful years for a two page resume.” I read this somewhere the other day. Is this what we are doing in our lives? Is doing a 9 to 5 job just what left in our life? All the education that we have received, or are receiving, cannot be so worthless. Our existence must be having some or the other motive . Or at least some driving force, that wants us to do something irregular. Something way out of the league. Maybe something apart from our routines.

So let us pick just an hour-  everyday from our lives; and spend it doing what we love. Something not for others. But for our own self. For making us happier. Be it anything- something that keeps you fit or something that yields positivity; maybe in you- maybe in someone wanting to be like you. In tomorrow’s world, when you will be old and wrinkled and too tired to move, you will cherish these moments. Moments that taught you what following your passion meant. Moments that helped you in overcoming something blue- maybe your depression or maybe your stress levels. Very few are those people who have time for themselves. Let us look at our own routines- what do we do apart from moving our asses from one place to another? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is so weird that we talk about giving and receiving, but do nothing for us so that we are able to give more. More than we think we can give.

It is so true that only if we love ourselves, we are able to love others. And this love comes from nowhere but from giving ourselves sometime. If we are happy, people that surround us get happier. You cannot and you should not- take an ocean of sufferings within you. It just cripples your heart more and more like a giant pigeon (I just quoted Phoebe Buffay). Stand up. Share your pains, your sorrows. Let others do the same. Do something that energizes you for the next twenty four hours. So, let us take a moment from our busy lives, and do what it makes to follow our passion. And remember- it can be anything. Anything that is not psychotic, makes you happy and inspires people around you. 🙂

First blog EVER.

So, this post begins my blogging journey or whatever name you give. I really didn’t know what topic to write on and so I chose something that seemed very easy to me. Though it can seem a tad bit uninteresting to those who are unfamiliar. Here you go- (Forgive me for any grammatical or political mistakes whatsoever).

They say that Marathi entertainment industry is one of the most emerging industries of today’s times. There’s this Marathi play, that has been filmed recently and was released a couple of days ago. “Natsamrat” is the name, starring Nana Patekar in the title role. The story, though cliché, manages to leave a very longlasting impact on the viewers’ mind. The main plot was roughly similar to Baghban (released- 2003), yet had a very different point of view and theme. By the end of the film, the audiences think of the lead actor as the true hero and stuff, (to which even I agree) but what I found wrong on the protagonist’s part was him teaching abusive language to his granddaughter for the act of revenge against her classmate. One surprising thing was the protagonist’s wife is shown to be a very opinionated and self-esteemed woman – to the extent that she helps her husband to run away from their daughter’s place. The sub plot of the film succeeds in telling us how the latest generation is trying to connect to the generation preceding the generation that precedes them. The way the filmmakers show the pitiful deaths of the leads convinces the viewers to safeguard their parents even more. 

All in all, this is the only film I saw till date in which the audiences give a standing ovation at the end. One tip: be sure to have at least a dozen tissue papers ready while you watch this epic film. Natsamrat is sure to touch your heart and leave its footprints in your soul forever.