लोग

इमेज कर्ट्सी: द सिंपसंस, गूगल.

हिंदी में लिखी हुई मेरी पहली रचना. जैसी भी लगे बता दीजियेगा.

(और यदि आपको लगता है इससे आपका भी कोई संबंध है, तो जान लीजिएगा आपने भी किसी को कुछ कहा होगा.)

वो तुमसे पूछते रहेंगे तुम्हारा दसवीं का रिज़ल्ट,
तुम सच्चाई बता देना कि कितने परसेंट बने हैं.
वो पूछते रहेंगे तुमसे तुम्हारा रोल नंबर,
भई खुद वेरिफाई भी तो करना चाहेंगे कि क्या वाकई उतने मार्क्स आए हैं जितने बताए हैं?
वो मंगवाएंगे तुमसे उनकी ही पसंद की मिठाई,
तुम्हारे रिज़ल्ट की खुशी में.
तुम चुपचाप अपनी पसंद की लाई हुई मिठाई के बदले में उनका मान रखना,
क्योंकि बड़े हैं,
और मीठा तो ख़ैर,
मीठा ही होता है.
वो पूछते रहेंगे कॉलेज के दौरान अब आगे क्या?
जवाब में हॅंसकर कह देना जो तुम बनना चाहती हो.
वो हॅंसेंगे तुम्हारे शौक पे,
वो हॅंसेंगे तुम्हारी पढ़ाई पे,
तुम्हारी भाषा पे – क्योंकि जब तुम शुद्ध हिंदी या मराठी बोलती हो ना,
कहर ढाती हो.
उन्हें क्या पता मन ही मन तुम अपनी संस्कृति, अपनी भाषा सहेजना चाहती हो?
उन्हें करने देना सवाल की क्यों तुम फलानी नौकरी छोड़ के इस ‘फालतू सी’ जगह बैठी हो.
उन्हें उड़ाने देना मज़ाक तुम्हारे सपनों का,
कहने देना कि नौकरी ना भी करी तो क्या फ़र्क पड़ता है?
उन्हें कहने देना कि नौकरी करना तो आखिर तुम्हारे लिए लाईफस्टाईल चॉइस है,
कि बनी तो तुम चकला-बेलन ही के लिए हो.
उन्हें हॅंसने देना तुमपे, तुम्हारे परिवार पे.
पर तुम कभी पलटकर उनसे सवाल ना करना.
कभी ना पूछना कि उन्होंने क्या किया, क्या नहीं किया.
कुछ किया तो क्यों किया और कुछ ना किया तो क्यों ना किया.
जहाँ मन किया नौकरी की, जब मन किया छोड़ कर करियर लाईन ही बदल दी.
पर बस, जब उनकी बेटी सयानी हो जाएगी,
अपने पैरों पर खड़ी हो जाएगी,
तुम ‘बधाई हो’ ही कहना
और दुआओं से ज़्यादा कुछ ना देना.
उसकी हर मुमकिन मदद करना,
क्योंकि सपने देखना तो उसने बस अभी शुरू ही किया है.

Chronicles of me and fellow women

Image courtesy: aesthetic stories

DISCLAIMER
Before you start throwing shade on feminism and women, please understand that I know not all men are the same and have come across a good few. Understand that these are just some incidents from the lives of a few women I know and I.

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Oh, how many men have disappointed me. How incapable of love they make me feel. They question their wife’s integrity when their children act against them. Why, do they not have a mind of their own? Why, can they not draw a line between good and bad? Why, can they not call you out when you go wrong? How easily they make wives feel they filled their child’s ears.
Boys label their girlfriend’s love for them as convenience. Yes, it was convenient for them to stay with you because they were selfish. Yes, it was convenient for them to do what all they did for you. Yes, it was convenient for them to travel miles on their period with stinging back pain just because you wanted to ‘see’ them. Boys feel entitled to kiss a girl just because she told them she likes them.
Friends consider their female friends to get physical with them because they have shared their sexuality, their desires with them. Friends think they can get away with casual sexism. Friends think they can get away with gossiping about my best friends and calling them names.
Fathers think they can tell their child they never wanted them to be born and expect the child to respect them for donating sperm. Fathers think they can control their daughters wearing something as simple as vaseline on their lips. Fathers marry their daughters to someone even they barely know and expect her to deal with him on her own.
Co-workers think they deserve something for providing better opportunities to their female colleagues.
Man, in general, feels entitled to feel the way he does about the woman. Man, who was birthed by a woman. Man, who needs the woman on the loneliest, darkest of times. Man, who has never failed to disappoint me.

Collective chronicles of me and fellow women with men.

Things I could have left unsaid.

The following lines are completely exclusive of each other.

1. Mothers keep being
Mothers for everyone
But never realise
When daughters
Become theirs.

2. It is not your duty
To please them
They do not know
What you have been through.

3. Don’t count your self worth
By how many men lust for you
But by how many of them
Have broken you down
Yet you rose.

4. How many times have they
Confused feminism for matriarchy
And how many times have I
Confused their

Inappropriate touches
For mistakes.

5. Don’t make way for me
In the middle of the roads
If all you do is
Look at me in a bad way.

6. If he can
Scratch his balls in broad daylight
In a public place
Why can’t I
Adjust my bra
That has been caging my breasts.

7. How will you ever
Love yourself if
All you have been taught
Is
That you are not enough.

8. All my life
I kept looking for a place
I could call home
Then I found you
And I unknowingly stopped
The search.

9. You don’t deserve her
When she’s blooming
If you have mocked her
When she was wilting.

P.S. I recently read The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur, hence such poems.

Millennials and shit.

Millennials are freakishly weird. We say that we want to open up to new things, gain new experiences, spend time with our loved ones. But in reality, we are spending half our time binge watching TV series in complete isolation. We pretend that we don’t get attached easily because we really can’t catch feelings because we can’t handle situations wherein things are against our mindsets.
All of us are just determined to prove why we are what we are, and hence we have forgotten the sense of life. There’s a constant need to flaunt what we aren’t, portray ourselves as somebody we aren’t; but in reality, we can’t even be that somebody. And then comes this feeling that we aren’t in place. That we are unable to achieve what we want to. That we are all unable to function as adults and are all heartbroken.
But, as they say, the wound is where the light enters you and that is true. There will be a time when it’ll all seem okay. And when all of us would be healed, believe me, that is going to be the day when we will undress ourselves as show offs, and actually look forward to new beginnings, new experiences.

C’est la vie.

​20, single, and having made thousands of mistakes, I today stand to realise how much I have changed. Had you met a 17 year old version of myself, you would have made fun of me for being too naive, immature. Now, I, for one, am still waiting for maturity to hit me. But today I feel that I have come a long way. What I wanted to be some years back, and what I am pursuing today, are two totally different things. And it’s not just me, this is with everyone. All of us wanted to be something when we were children, but are now living as monotonous vampires, who don’t even want to come out on full moon nights to suck blood anymore.

My favourite song has a line, which goes like this- did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? The society might have shaped us in a way that we have stopped going after something really special yet momentary and instead have started chasing something that does not care for our talents. Today, maybe everyone of us doesn’t have a set routine. Maybe, everyone of us is looking for better relationships but is settling for less. Maybe, all of us are so busy wanting to be loved, to be pampered, to be spoilt, that we’ve all forgotten what love actually is. I am not saying that everyone has settled for good and not better, but what I am trying to say is that we all have achieved so much, and I guess we are still trying to be the best we can ever be.

Freedom.

‘Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom.’

-Pt Jawahar Lal Nehru, in his famous speech ‘Tryst with destiny’. 

In political terms, India did wake up to freedom. But what is freedom? The state of not being imprisoned or enslaved; says Google. Another definition says that it is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants. It is a state of mind, although, one must agree. To me, freedom is the will to express myself. It is wanting something and then getting it. Through sheer luck, or maybe through hard work. It is being able to wear what I want. It is knowing that I can stay in my pyjamas all day long or dressing to kill, if that’s what I wish for. Freedom is knowing that my male friends will drop me home safely at midnight. Freedom is knowing that I can be what I want, when I want. You don’t need another independence day to celebrate if you are independent everyday. 

Sadly, today we’ve long forgotten what it means. It is being able to live sans fear. And, we Indians, have made sure that we don’t let anyone live fearlessly. Everyone has to wish each other an independence day. For if we don’t, we aren’t true patriots. It has become important to prove certain things, and that, certainly is not freedom. So today, let us pledge, that nothing will ever be forced onto anyone by us. We’ll let everyone live in the way they want. For freedom means different things to different people.

Happy Independence Day.🇮🇳

Lahu ka lagaan.

​”Menstruation.”
“Come on, say the word out loud. MENSTRUATION.”

“Pardon? I can’t hear you.”

“That’s not even a word.”

Yeah, right. Periods, aunt flo, crimson wave, that time of the month, un dino and the worst of them all ‘ladkiyo vali problem’ – a few euphemisms that’ll help you get what that so-called non-existent word means. Unlike other blogs of women on the tabooed topic, yes, I conveniently said women because I know that a manly man won’t ever write on periods. So, I was saying that I never wanted to start this one with some stats, but frankly speaking, only stats will penetrate into your steadfast heads and make you realise. Most of us know that about 90% of the females in India do not have access to safe and clean sanitary napkins, or pads. The reason is that a huge chunk of Indians reside in rural India, and have little or no money for buying pads. And even if they have, it is difficult for them to purchase pads, because the mentality.

This problem is not prevelant in  just the rural areas, but also in smart cities like Indore. One can’t just buy pads without getting at least one awkward stare and a malicious grin.  Also, in rural India, many women and girls use unsanitary materials such as old rags, husks, dried leaves, grass, ash, sand or newspapers because they do not have access to affordable, hygienic and safe products and facilities. Most of these old rags are reused. 

Yes, I bleed. Yes, that happens every fucking month. And yes, I can bloody afford it, so what if it costs me about ₹200 every single time.

Coming to the point, I feel that adding pads to the ‘luxury items’ list is downright wrong. Because pads are not a luxury. That’s a true blue need. Yes, the exact colour that pours down from our va-jay-jays. Replaced the actual word with va-jay-jays because people won’t like the actual word. Lack of menstrual hygiene leads to mental health issues as well as disrupts the bodily functioning. Today, we do not need to inflate pad prices. We need to reduce it, so that all females can use sufficient, healthy and clean pads, so that we are able to take a step towards a cleaner and more hygienic India. Let us say no to #lahukalagaan. No point in adding tax to sanitary napkins.

If you guys support the cause, kindly sign the following petition:

#TaxFreeWings: Petition to Arun Jaitley for removal of tax on sanitary napkins – Sign the Petition!

https://www.change.org/p/taxfreewings-petition-to-arun-jaitley-for-removal-of-tax-on-sanitary-napkins?recruiter=684711299&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=whatsapp

P.S. forgive me if I made any factual mistake(s) whatsoever.

WHY?

First things first, I named this blog ‘WHY’ because I have a hell lot of questions to ask. Starting from objectification of the female body to shaming it. Really, people have nothing in between or what? Haters will say that ‘item songs’ are an integral part of Bollywood movies, or that attaining a ‘so called’ body (read: with fuller assets but a flat belly) is nothing but healthy. Okay, okay. Think of me as a feminazi. Well, I don’t give a damn to what your perception of me is. Because I know what I am, my brain knows not to quit, but I think that a woman is just trying to be the best version of what she is. 
Coming to the point, one of my friends received a really lewd message from an acquaintance, needless to say that the sender was a male. And then he tried covering it by saying ‘Sent it to you by mistake. The message was meant for someone else.’ As if another girl would’ve digested it? 

Why is it that women have to conform to social standards and it doesn’t matter if a man doesn’t? Why do women have to be fully covered despite the weather? Why do women have to act coy and shy all the time? Why can’t some people allow women to work post marriage/child birth? Why do women have to remedy their skin to ‘gori’ from ‘kali’? Isn’t Kali the name of a much worshipped Hindu Goddess? Why do women have to constantly seek empowerment? Why can’t Bollywood actresses own that they are feminists? Why do women have to stand up and speak for other women? Why don’t men become feminists? Why don’t people understand that we want equality and not superiority? Why are rape victims’ images deteriorated instead of rapists’? Why do women have to worry about being attacked once they’ve stood up and taken appropriate measures against the accused?

There’s no end to my questions. Only if men take a step forward and support women, we can actually achieve equality- something that women are dreaming of. It is the 21st century and if we still can’t keep women over patriarchy, it is nothing but depressing.

P.S. – Actions were taken against that guy. Not strict ones though, but still THEY WERE TAKEN. That matters.

Expectations: to have or not to have.

What’s wrong in keeping expectations? You give and you give and you give your everything to someone and they just don’t seem to reciprocate things. Of all the things, time is the worst and the best investment. You stick to someone, be there in their toughest times and when your days of turmoil arrive, poof! They magically vanish. And then you realise you did nothing but wasted your time. And to avoid that, people advise not keeping expectations, as if it was the fault of the giver. Coming to think of it, is that true? I mean, really, how can someone just take a blame on their heads, even if they were not mistaken?But I truly believe that it has always been a mistake on the part of that one person, who really believes that the other one is going to stick with them. Now this person is the giver as well as the receiver. I don’t feel the need to explain the side of the one who expects. On the other hand, the one who always has people by their side tends to take them for granted.I think that expecting is not that bad. I mean, at least you will know who was at fault. And if the other one reciprocates, then it’s time to party! Because this breed is rare af.
P.S. – I am dedicating this piece to some of the prettiest souls I’ve ever met, and who have been there with me in the toughest of my times. 

Pandemonium

 ​Is it human tendency to go back, desire for more or is it just me? I keep returning to where I was not meant to be…and to those not meant for me. Is it the unsettling feeling that I am alone, aloof even when I am with my best friends or is my introversion on a ris

e? I want to write but I don’t know what I am writing. Just a lost, fading memory of things that could have been.It seems like there is just this weird calmness, silence all around. Mind you, I am more of a chaos person. Overthinking is a thing of my past now. What is it that is even bothering my self?Why do not I seem to give more shits about things?It is true that perhaps this is good. Not overthinking, not caring much. Was I meant to be this way? Or was I meant to find calmness in calmness, which I get in chaos, amidst all the mayhem?Why are things so confusing?Am I lost?What do I want? 

Yeah, I love mornings. A new beginning, if one must say. But what about the nights? When I live without having to survive ?Or is it my unplanned, uncherished yet yearned for singlehood taking a toll on me? I can’t be defined because of a man, that I am sure of.